Singledom in the 21st Century

Towers of sexy new date-and-mate books are piled on my desk. Year after year, I'm buried under the latest romance offerings until,

inevitably, they all start to sound exactly the same. "The Dating Race," by Stacy Kravetz. "Mr. Right, Right Now!" by E. Jean Carroll.
"Get Serious About Getting Married," by Janis Spindel.

And that's just the start. It's a case where supply meets demand. There are 86 million unmarried adults in the nation, according to the

U.S. Census Bureau. Men, 39 percent of whom are unmarried, range from twentysomethings not interested in settling down to divorced,

middle-aged fathers seeking a happy family for their brood. Women, 43 percent of whom are unmarried, range from those driven by
biological clocks to women in their 50s who, as Gloria Steinem once quipped, "forgot to get married." In the landscape of singledom, 51

million have never married, 21 million are divorced, and 14 million are widowed. There are so many singles in the workplace — the number

has soared 20 percent in the past 10 years — that some companies now require "love contracts" between co-workers in a relationship. The

contracts ensure that the relationships are consensual, so that one person cannot later claim sexual harassment and sue the company.

Singledom in the 21st century has spawned a vast industry catering to every need: dating boot camp and dating agents, plus online dating,

computer-match services, speed dating, small-group dinner dating and singles clubs for everything from sailing to cooking. "There are so

many choices that people are now confused," says Beth Anderson, founder of Cotton wood Connection, a Colorado singles company that offers
coaching, dating advice, professional videos, background checks and lots of activities seared to helping singles meet other singles.

Unfortunately, the last place most singles want to go is yet another "singles" event. "There's fear and trepidation." says Anderson. "Some

people have had their hearts broken. Some are shy. It's hard." Tough even for Anderson, a single woman who runs a singles company and

introduces people for a living. "It's still really hard. People are checking you out, and you have to go around meeting people, which is

hard for shy people who'd rather be