Seniors Like Quickie Dates

Forgive Charles Walsh if he's a little slow to join in the rounds of speed dating going on around him. Not only has the 55-year-old
divorced father never tried speed dating - he hasn't been out at night except for work events in about a decade. "I was married for 20
years, and now I'm nervous," said Walsh, who preferred to sip a Bud Light at the bar and watch as more than 50 older
adults in this beachside town tried speed dating. It is a process in which men and women are paired for a few minutes of get-to-know-you
chat before switching partners. Forget boring dinner parties. Older Americans looking for love have taken a cue from young urban singles
and are flocking to speed-dating events and online personals sites. Match.com, a popular dating Web site, says registrations among people
50 and older have soared 340 percent since 2000. The American Association of Retired Persons now has a dating advice column in its member
magazine. On Maryland's Eastern Shore, where the roads are dotted with ads for new retirement communities, the changing senior dating
scene is evident. The speed-dating event Walsh attended was put on by Mingling Singles, a group that's tripled its membership since its
creation just two months ago. Another group near Ocean City, Beach Singles, has 150 members, all 45 and older, with a new chapter planned
in nearby Salisbury. The Merry Widows and Widowers Social Club also operates in Ocean City. "The seniors are pouring down here," said Lois

West, 71, secretary of . Beach Singles. "They move here for the beach, but then they don't know anybody." "We're much more active. A widow

in the olden days would sit inside and wear black. Today she's probably out dancing," West said. At the speed-dating event, some attendees

said their grown children pushed them to attend. Others said they were sick of tagging along with friends who are couples, or were just
tired of trying to find love in a bar. "As soon as my 31-year-old daughter heard about it, she was like, 'Oh Mom, you have to go,"' said
JoAnn Collinson, 52, a widow from Bishopville who said she's looking as much for companionship as romance. Rick Hosier, 56, retired to the
area after a career as a firefighter but admitted being a little scared to talk to single women. "I would've never thought I'd do this,"
he said before the lights flickered to signify the speed-dating would begin. "I just thought, it's something different. I'm not a bartype
person. I don't like crowds." The matchmaking industry is catching on to the dating interests o; .older adults. Some dating Web sites
now have special seniors-only areas Spark Networks, based in Los Angeles, started SilverSingles.com last year, and the site now has about
600,000 members. Seniors are more comfortable than they used to be with the Internet, am they're finding that online dating let; them take
their time choosing a possible mate, said Kathleen Roldan spokeswoman for San Francisco based Match.com.

"Naked on the Page: The Misadventures of My Unmarried Midlife" (Viking Press)

In spite of the author's perpetual moaning, this is as addictive as a box of Valentine chocolates. Ganahl sets a brisk pace, describing her first year with the column and the avalanche of responses she reads compulsively, answering some, deleting many. Old boyfriends write to her, recognizing themselves. Friends alternately sympathize and beg
her to get it together. Ganahl's daughter is her touchstone, the friend she calls most dear and a remarkable young woman. Throughout the book, Ganahl is consumed with the idea of having a date for her 50th and finally makes plans with her unreliable, rock star paramour.
They meet, but once again he is absorbed in his own life and barely remembers it's her birthday. But this time sometiling clicks. The knight has fallen off his horse one too many times. In an ironic twist, Ganahl leaves him to sleep off his satiated state (of course they have sex first) and goes to the ball by herself. Well, not really by herself. She's surrounded by the people who really love her.

Midlife Dating

pithy, current, worldly, honest, tender and well-constructed. Check out "Hear That Wedding March Often Enough. You Fall in Step" by Larry Smith. This is the essay every woman who gives her boyfriend an ultimatum needs to read. It's a heartfelt love letter to the girl of Smith's dreams and the story of how they both realize (as in. no pressure) that they yearn to marry. Told by a man in an understated, romantic way. it's even more appealing. -Midlife dating When she's whining about not having a boyfriend, she sounds like a 2-year-old. When she's talking about her grownup daughter, mother-love radiates from the page. She is a curious combination of writer, feminist, horny adolescent, philosopher and single mom. She is Jane Ganahl of Half Moon Bay, former "Single-Minded" columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle and a literary version of a "Sex and the City" gal.

All Kinds of Love

Trust the New York Times to turn out quality fodder such as its weekly "Modern Love" column, edited by Daniel Jones. Following the time-honored tradition of collecting worthy columns
and calling them a book, Mr. Jones does just that in "Modern Love: 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit, and Devotion" (Three Rivers Press). It's the kind of writing you'd expect from a great newspaper

Singledom in the 21st Century

Towers of sexy new date-and-mate books are piled on my desk. Year after year, I'm buried under the latest romance offerings until,

inevitably, they all start to sound exactly the same. "The Dating Race," by Stacy Kravetz. "Mr. Right, Right Now!" by E. Jean Carroll.
"Get Serious About Getting Married," by Janis Spindel.

And that's just the start. It's a case where supply meets demand. There are 86 million unmarried adults in the nation, according to the

U.S. Census Bureau. Men, 39 percent of whom are unmarried, range from twentysomethings not interested in settling down to divorced,

middle-aged fathers seeking a happy family for their brood. Women, 43 percent of whom are unmarried, range from those driven by
biological clocks to women in their 50s who, as Gloria Steinem once quipped, "forgot to get married." In the landscape of singledom, 51

million have never married, 21 million are divorced, and 14 million are widowed. There are so many singles in the workplace — the number

has soared 20 percent in the past 10 years — that some companies now require "love contracts" between co-workers in a relationship. The

contracts ensure that the relationships are consensual, so that one person cannot later claim sexual harassment and sue the company.

Singledom in the 21st century has spawned a vast industry catering to every need: dating boot camp and dating agents, plus online dating,

computer-match services, speed dating, small-group dinner dating and singles clubs for everything from sailing to cooking. "There are so

many choices that people are now confused," says Beth Anderson, founder of Cotton wood Connection, a Colorado singles company that offers
coaching, dating advice, professional videos, background checks and lots of activities seared to helping singles meet other singles.

Unfortunately, the last place most singles want to go is yet another "singles" event. "There's fear and trepidation." says Anderson. "Some

people have had their hearts broken. Some are shy. It's hard." Tough even for Anderson, a single woman who runs a singles company and

introduces people for a living. "It's still really hard. People are checking you out, and you have to go around meeting people, which is

hard for shy people who'd rather be